He is Risen!!

I am home!!!! In my house. In my room. In my bed. I LOVE IT HERE!!!!!!!
It's so interesting though... coming home I have been thinking SO MUCH and I feel like I am growing SO MUCH and it made me want to blog, to try and release some thoughts. But now as I type I can't think of any.
My parents and I went to Seattle this weekend to spend Easter with my brother, sister, and their married people. (it was delightful). that also meant that I got to spend [limited] wonderful time catching up with my bff @emmaneustel #toobadyoucanttagpplinblogs. She is just an incredible part of my life. Her and @hollycowan both. After talking to both of them this weekend, I have been so incredibly blessed and encouraged (words I feel like I overuse but mean with their full meaning) and it has aided my thinking thoughts.
The first thing I really want to address is this: Christ is Risen! His death and resurrection give life and hope and purpose and meaning and are my DNA... the entirety of my everything. (eloquent, I know). Yet, more and more I am understanding the depth of his sacrifice, and the breath of air it is in my life. my only breath.
Lesser, yet more new and different, I am learning about myself... contemplating those collegy questions of "who am i?" "where do i fit into the world?" "what does God want from my life?" #lowercaseforemphasis. And I am toying with the notion of independence and the importance of living your own individual life. To preface: I need not DE-emphasize the necessity for community, humility, fellowship, roots, ties, family, wisdom, flexibility, faith in God, or blah blah. Yet more and more I sense the reality that my life is... my life. It is (though not entirely) separate from everyone else's life in the sense that God has a story for me. I am not dependent on my family or friends or comforts or familiarities or desires or strengths or knowledge... my life will have a unique direction and flow based on God's plan... and in seeking his will for my life it is important to pursue just that... his will for MY life. [insert all the important warnings about selfishness and pride and unwise decisions and cautiousness about everything here] And with that, primarily I find myself seeking HIM above all things. It is fantastically delightful (that's a good word tonight). I am discovering a passion for him in the sense of LIVING and EXPERIENCING and GROWING and LEARNING that is beyond anything I've known before. I feel like a real person with a real God and a real relationship of pursuing him because he has/is pursue(d)/ing me. I am loved. So loved by him. And I love him.

And. with all this comes such faith. Trusting him is hard, but without faith and trust in God... I am scared and lost and unsure and doubting and not even my own person. I'm sometimes/a lot of the times bad at trusting God. So this is a lesson I am excited and willing to learn hard, well, intimately, and deep.
Amen and Amen.

Mommy Advice

Well my goodness, I don't want to forget my maj!

She wrote me a note that day as well:

Carly, 

Well this is it! You are a college freshman. You are beginning the next chapter in your life. How exciting!

I am so proud of you. You are an incredible person. I see God directing your life and you are a great example to me and everyone who knows you. Just know your dad and I are here for you anytime if (or when) you need us. We support you and we love you. we will pray for you every day of this journey you are on. It's easier letting you go when I know Jesus is with you and he'll never let you go :)

I love you, Mom

She is just amazing. 

My heart is full, and I am so thankful. I miss my parents so much. They are incredible examples of lovers of each other and lovers of God.

Daddy's Advice

I received this note from my faj the day I moved into college:


8/21/10 From your Father Peter Lind, (Love, Dad)
Carly, (here he drew a flower)
The time has come for your new journey. God has cleared a path for you, where will you go- what will you do- who will you meet along the way?
These questions will unfold for you. My Advice-
Do not make a decision until you have to. 
Put forth effort to match your dreams. 
Take the path of Least Resistance, the one that flows Naturally. 
God speaks with compassion and tells you in your heart what he want of you.


He included $20 and wrote on the back:
This side to remain blank except for pictures and doodles. 
I love that man with my whole heart. 
He is such a blessing to me, and I am blessed to finally use that $20 in supporting my bestie, Emma on a mission trip to Bolivia. 


God is Good. Amen Amen

Japan

I can't even imagine.
Last night a 8.9 Earthquake hit Northeastern Japan, followed by a huge Tsunami. My prayers and my heart go out to those people... where only 1% of the population have been reached with the Gospel.
God is in control of his creation, and he does reign.
Sometimes, though it is so difficult to see his glory through the storm.

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Physics

"The tendency of modern physics is to resolve the whole material universe into waves, and nothing but waves. These waves are of two kinds: bottled-up waves, which we call matter, and unbottled waves, which we call radiation or light. If annihilation of matter occurs, the process is merely that of unbottling imprisoned wave-energy and setting it free to travel through space. These concepts reduce the whole universe to a world of light, potential or existent, so that the whole story of its creation can be told with perfect accuracy and completeness in the six words: 'God said, Let there be light'."
-Sir James Jeans, The Mysterious Universe (1930), 37-8.

nervy

Maybe it's just that time in the semester for everyone... but I am stressed. Not necessarily an overwhelmed, emotional, break down kind of stress, but more just nervous. I'm nervous about upcoming assignments; I'm scared about what is expected from me in writing certain papers and exams; I'm unsure about what I'm supposed to do... 
And my brain is just tired of thinking. Yet most of my classes (Biblical Interpretation and Spiritual Formation; Philosophy; Psychology and Christian Thought) are all about thinking. About understanding and stretching your mind. 
MY MIND IS STRETCHED. 
too far- too much.
Bahh. I want to do well. 
I want to be a great steward of my time here at Biola, and I want to take full advantage of my education here and the crazy opportunities I have in these next precious years to learn and grow and cultivate my mind and faith. 
I'm just nervous in my ability. 
Thank God He offers peace and strength. 
Thank God He is bigger than all this
Thank God He is bigger than me and my abilities. 


For now I'll rest in his greatness; I'll revel in 
his power and be thankful for all his blessings. 
And I'll listen to Alexi Murdoch and welcome the 
peace derived from acoustic melodious beauty.  

Compass

My floor [Compass- Alpha East] went on our semesterly retreat this weekend. 
                                           It was so fun. SO FUN! 
The agenda:
Friday
Leave Biola at 4pm
B.J.'s for dinner 
    [dressed up-- Kendra did my make up dramatically. I loved]
    [shared a wonderful chicken avocado santa fe salad thing with Amy] 
    [delish, but def not enough food]
Q&A with a pastor's wife about sexuality, woman's role in society, 
   and relationships
   [continuing from DTR week... but was a wonderful time of 
      bonding. sharing. vulnerability. learning]
   [she made us brownies [& ice cream] and tea]
Slept at Redeemer Church
   [on the cold hard gym floor]
   [stayed up late. talked. catch phrase]
Saturday
Breakfast
   [pack-out from the Caf... FAIL]
   [they gave us like 3 pieces of fruit. rice crispies. bagels]
   [we spun it, and made rice crispie treats. hoorah]
Paint-n-Glaze
   [spent HOURS in Long Beach decorating a mug/plate]
   [wonderful. we all took forever and were perfectionists]
Froyo
   [rich chocolate with:
        strawberries.kiwi.butterfinger.cookiedough.
        cheesecakesquares.oneredgummybear]
Target
   [two plates on sale- $1.25 each]
   [bananas]
   [shoes]

      [I've been wearing socks with flip flops too 

      excessively because of my lack of real shoes]

        

       [on sale-- reg. $9 I got them for $8]

"Home"


Praises for the weekend:
   My WICKED migrane from Friday night went away with the wonderful drug: 
                  Excedrin. 
  Great convo with a girl who's mom is a counselor. 
     [got the inside scoop]
  FINALLY bought shoes!!
  And... 
      I found myself keep thinking:
   These are my friends. We are really friends. 
    I haven't always felt like this about the people I had here in California. 
    Yet I am so blessed by these AMAZING women of God who stepped into
    my life. God knew what he was doing to pair us all together. They are so 
    full of life, joy, youth, and together we have such community. I pray we 
    continue to challenge and encourage one another this semester. It's just 
    amazing to have girls here that I truly respect and trust they like me too. 
For all these things, I am blessed